The Guilt

Today I went to Fukuoka with some of my friends as the AFS volunteers.
It was fun coz we didn't work that much, but we could go to Fukuoka freely and got Subway sandwich for lunch :D.

Fukuoka is a nice city, I wish I had more time there :(((
Fyi, I did not buy anything there so today I did not use my money at all.

Then, I went back to AP ハウスand started to count my weekly expenses.
This is the time when my sin was about to happen.
I was freakin' out when I found out that this weekly expense is much more bigger than last week (basically because 大分交通のtriple切符、バスカード、ユニゴロ、and trial) not to mention the train tickets to 大分 -__________-.
That stupid weekly calculation really pissed me off.
Then my mom called and asked me about how my day was etc, etc.
Since I was not in a good mood, I sounded a bit angry to my mom and I said something insolent to her about something which the moment after I said that I regretted so much.

It is my fault that my weekly expense is that high.
I should have blamed myself, not her.
Stupid me.

The funny thing is, this incident makes me start to think that how if I were my mom and I heard my daughter said that to me?
I can't imagine how many thousand times my mother has forgiven me for my disrespectful words.
I do feel so bad that I am that impertinet to my mother.

There's a phrase that said : "Your mouth is your tiger,"
Hell, it's true.
I wish I could control my damn mouth.

I'm so sorry mom for what I've said.
For every words and attitudes that tear your heart :((((((
I wish I could take back my words.