2011 Last Day

So here is the thing for the last day of this year: REVIEW and RESOLUTION

Let's start for the flashback of what I've done this year:

January: went to Osaka, auditioned for the countdown event but failed (which pushed me to have to perform on the this year countdown)

February: back to Jakarta

March: spring holiday in Jakarta

April: back to Japan, applied for Honors scholarship, Indonesian week practice

May: desperately waiting for Honors result, more tense in Indonesian week practice

June: Honors scholarship final result (thank God, I passed)

July: Indonesian Week 2011 and shinjin kouen

August: Summer holiday in Japan, participating in lots of exchange activities, homestay, and baito

September: Went to Osaka-Kyoto-Nara, moving out to downtown, saman for entrance ceremony fall 2011, graduation ceremony

October: Went to Osaka again for exchange by shinkansen, start of new fall semester, participated in tenkusai 2011 (arauma and age aisu stand), starting to be super stress out coz of the roommate stuffs

November: Passed the SA final result, performed mairaku, homestay again in oguni kumamoto, preparing Indonesian Week 2012 (selected as the external coordinator), still stress out coz of the roommate stuffs

December: Went to Nagasaki for exchange, OJT SA, baito, finally got other 2 roommates :), will perform in the countdown event (in the next 4 hours)

My last 6 months life has been turning upside down like a roller coaster. It's like before the school started, it was one of the best moments that ever happened in my life, on the other side, it was truly mess after the school started.

Lots of stress.
Lots of worries.
Lots of anxieties
Lots of anger.

I still remember when the final result of the scholarship came out, one of my friend got the scholarship and also passed the SA screening. On that time, I imagined how lucky and how happy she was. But, when I recall again about things that have happened to me in this year, I think that maybe that time was not the best time for me to be SA. Maybe God knows that I would face lots of troubles this semester and He know that by being accepted in SA would cheer me up a little bit. Maybe He wants me to wait so that I could be more grateful and cherish the moment more.

If I just see the 6 months life I have lived in, maybe it's not that good. Maybe it's quite a mess.
However, if I see the whole year, I think I accomplish my targets that I made last year.

That I wanted
-to perform in the countdown event
-to be more active in circle
-to join arauma
-to perform in tenkusai
-to get scholarship
-to be accepted in SA
-to have baito
-to join lots of exchange activities

God has granted my wishes and gave me more than what I wanted.
So, I shouldn't look this year as a bad year at all if I see the bigger picture.
Bad things happened.
That's life.
We never can ever predict when it will come.
It just happened.
And all we can do is face it, suck it up, and have a faith that there is a silver lining in every problem that we face.

About resolution, to be honest, I don't know what my resolutions are for next year.
But for now, let just hope that next year will be much more better than this year.

Anw, cheers 2011!

And 2012, please be nice.

beauty is you

On this day of your life, Fabiola, we believe God wants you to know ... that as you immerse yourself in the beauty of the world, the beauty of the world immerses itself in you.
	The more you see beauty, the more beautiful you become. Let yourself be one of God's most glorious creations.

in the midst of coldness

On this day of your life, Fabiola, we believe God wants you to know ... that within each heart is a spark of the Divine.
	These sparks of Divinity and love can reach into the darkness and transform it. However, there may be times when you need to shine your heart extra brightly because others may be struggling to keep their spark alive. Let your light bring hope to a situation that feels dark and hopeless.

beauty is only skin deep

On this day of your life, Fabiola, we believe God wants you to know ... that it's time to let people see your inner beauty.
	It's time to let people know the real you. Be who you are, not who you think people want you to be. You are more beautiful on the inside than you realize, and you need to share that beauty with others. Be transparent, let your guard down, let people know the real you.

big amen for this

On this day of your life, Fabiola, we believe God wants you to know ... that your longing for God will be rewarded.
	God always hears a yearning spirit.

12-12-11

Today is the day when super embarrassing thing has happened during my entire life *thank God I was alone that time*

An hour late, on the same day, I get a letter which turns me emotionally touched.

See how funny life can be.

Anw, for you who sent me the letter,
thank you for your support.

また会うまで、待ってる。

Thanks for reminding me that these crap will mean something

On this day of your life, Fabiola, we believe God wants you to know ... that you weren't created to be a failure.
	Sure some things may not have worked out and there have been some disappointments. But all these things helped guide you in a direction that was meant for you. Your life has purpose and significance. Try to be patient if it isn't all crystal clear just yet. For now, just know that you weren't created to fail.

********

sneaking like a mouse,
having no manner,
having no initiative,
having nothing but being hypocrite only.

those above mostly describe who you are.

I know it's subjective, but for me, you are that kind of person.

life sucks

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nothing

have u ever feel lost?
like u don't care anything?

when life is turning you up and down,
you just want to stop,
do nothing,
and not move.
nothing else