What meant to be

I just got a reply from ayd saying that I didn't pass the screening to join the camp.
Yep, again, another failure.
Well, it does sting.
But I've prayed to be strong.
Maybe I am supposed to go home.
Maybe it's what meant to be.

"Every silver cloud has a silver lining" -> so they said.

Well, after talking about how-in-life-we-can't-get-what-we-want with my mom, I am now still confused about what I should do for my summer. I really wanna go back home since I dont know if I can have a long holiday after I work. However, it will be also my last summer holiday in Beppu and 1 thing I will miss the most is definitely the Kumon Kids. I know its only 2 years. But from these 2 years, Ive had fun moments with those "potato kids". I may not participate in 2 weeks kumon camp, but screw it, I get 2 years experience with these kids which can't be replaced with these 2 damn weeks, pardon my language. After knowing the result, I convince myself that maybe if I join the camp, I wont have as much as happiness as I have in Kumon now. Well, it hurts sometimes, but I try to let the damn go. I still dunno what to do in summer. Hopefully I will figure it out soon. I have to believe that this is the best option for me. Might not seem to be in the moment, but hell, maybe I will know, or. screw it, i wont know ,but that wont even matter anymore.

This may be random but I do wish that sometime and somewhere in the future, I will have the chance to meet at least 1 of my students, n he/she will have grown up and will still remember me :D

Today both me n my mom get a bad news. Well, I expected myself to be great. My mom wanted her problem to be over. But, like it or not, bad thing happens. I am, for sure, not great at all in the reality. For my mom, problems seem not easily go away. We just have to suck it up. Keeping the faith that by the time we "connect the dots" as what Steve Jobs said, these bad things wont seem to be bad things. These bad things will be our turning points, good things, or even great things.

At least, through these rejections, I have proved "...that failure,even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying."