You can't always get what you want

Today I just get mail saying that I don't pass eic again.
Don't pass means I don't pass even the first screening.

Well, to be honest, I guess that I did well during the interview but well it turns out bad.

Recently, none of the things that I want can be accomplished.

My dreams are I get my dream job and eic for my senior year.

Reality is total failure.

I don't get anything that I want.

I feel like a lame loser.

I know that we don't get what.
We get what we need.

But seriously, facing the failure is not easy.

It's painful.

Recently I feel that nothing is going right.

I feel that my life is a failure.

Well I know it's stupid to say my life is a failure just because of these 2 things that I can't reach, but still it feels that way.

Maybe it's for the best.
Maybe God has a better plan.
Maybe I am supposed to do other things that will do better than these 2 things.

But right now, it does hurt.

Losing my religion

Recently, to be frankly honest, I have been losing my faith.

I don't know why but I do feel like losing it.

I am lost.

I don't know where to go.

I used to believe in the power of praying.
But now I don't know if it really has something of it.